Blergy Business Professional Days

Let's keep it real - I love shopping, especially for clothes.  I never realize how much clothing I have until I move...which is happening right now.  Box after box after box after box...of clothes I don't even fit in anymore.

The thing is, I cleaned out my closet about 1.5 years ago when I moved down here from Plymouth.  And when I unpacked and realized that I had way too much stuff for this tiny apartment, I got rid of even more clothes.  So it isn't like I'm just lazy about cleaning out the closet so to speak.  I mean yeah, I'm lazy.  But not about that.

So yeah the point is that I am getting bigger and I can't.  Just don't know at this point what the missing link is - but I feel like it's probably somewhere in between a lack of determination and self doubt. 

Within the past month I've had two new partners join my region at work.  I made first impressions with them, which just comes with the territory of what I do.  Customers size you up - they want to know if they should push for that refund a little bit harder, if their home's mortgage is safe in my hands, if my advice about their business' cash flow is worth considering.  They don't know me - hopefully it helps that they know the company I work for, and in the long run I feel my commitment to them shines through.  But in that first exchange I have learned to compensate for my weight, my lack of "shine" (how do ppl get their hair to be one smooth sleek mass?), etc with my facial expressions and tone. 

Anyway it's different with your business partners.  These folks are on your team, and they're counting on me to be the quarterback.  In the financial sector that quarterback looks a certain way, dresses a certain way.  It isn't about materialism - it's about professionalism.  I feel like I didn't measure up to what they were expecting.  I'm sure that's got a lot to do with my own insecurities, and again my knowledge and skill will when them over eventually.

But I am so tired of being in a body that prefers elastic waists and forcing it into business professional clothes every day.  I wish this inspired me to do something about it - but I can honestly say I don't feel like going for a jog right now.  Writing it out is workout enough for now.